21 February, 2009

Race Baiters: Get a Life

Take another look at this comic that the NY Post ran this past week...and take a really close look:



If you saw anything inherently racist about this cartoon, there's no escaping it: you're an asshole.

The controversy stems from the idea that the chimpanzee in the cartoon being shot by the police represents President Obama. This wasn't a problem when it was George W. Bush being represented as a monkey, but it is now because Obama is black. Historically, race baiters on the white side of the picket fence would compare blacks with monkeys, because monkeys are predominantly dark in their skin and fur and aren't terribly smart.

And that would be, dare I say, inappropriate, if it were meant to be Obama. The passing reference to the "Stimulus Bill" (federal buggering part deux) was meant as a jab at the authors of the bill being as wise as the chimp in the picture. The chimp being shot by the police is a reference to another recent story where an escaped chimp mauled a few people in Connecticut and had to be subdued by police with extreme prejudice.

I'm going to link to pretty pictures for this next section, as the people who need this section don't seem to get how America works, because even a chimp with a slight grasp of civics in this country would know that CONGRESS (the assholes who work in this building) is in charge of writing and passing laws. The President (the asshole who works in this building) signs the laws and executes them. Yes, it's true, and it drives the nanny-staters to tears to hear it: the legislative branch legislates while the executive branch executes. When the Constitution (this thing) gets in the way of people who want sudden and drastic change from a powerful executive, you tend to get a lot of people taking to the streets.

Sorry for that tangent, but back to the point: The chimp in the cartoon was supposed to represent Congress, not Obama. Generally when a character in a political cartoon is supposed to represent a specific person, the cartoonist generally makes the character look even passingly like the public figure in question. Even when Bush was a monkey you still knew it was Bush (granted he looked very monkey-like to begin with). But even if you had a particularly adventurous cartoonist who let loose with the metaphors, there would have been an "OBAMA" written somewhere on or near the monkey. He probably would also have been wearing people clothes. Instead, the chimp represented Congress or even just the authors of the bill in general, who probably had their heads up their asses when they allocated funds. This is backed up with the
very blatant reference to the authors of the bill, who we have already figured out by pure constitutional law and logic could not be the President!

...as an afterthought, let's also just consider the premise of the cartoon. It's the police shooting the chimp, not some crazy bastard with a grudge against blacks. And since when do cops shoot the commander in chief? Chimps, yes. Criminals, yes. A few of the swindlers in Congress, I would certainly hope so. But I would certainly not expect that the NY Post is advocating a coup d’état, and if they were I'd be more worried about that than any sort of implicit racism.

But of course no one wants to listen to reason in this country, and out come the hipster squares with their picketing and chanting and god damned fucking puppets. Maybe no puppets this time, but still. Why all the hullabaloo? Easy: they see their messiah threatened in the public arena and they want to protect him from all of the mean people out there who just want to make him fail. Because they're racists. And mean.

Why the NY Post even apologized is beyond me - though at least they didn't go as far as to retract or denounce the cartoon. All they should have said to those who said that the cartoon was a racist attack on Obama was: "No it's not; get a life."

07 February, 2009

I Don't Care

Before I go on I'll make this very very clear: I've never cared about Michael Phelps. I don't care how much he's swam in his life, I don't care about how many medals he's won, I just don't. It's shallow hero worship and I won't have it.

With that being said, leave the poor sod alone. Ever since the bong incident has come to light, it's

been nothing but all around condemnation. I say "poor sod" because of the tedious and empty life he leads. He swims all day, every day to keep in that shape, and at least leading up to the Olympics he lived with his mother. A grown man, let alone an international sports celebrity?

I'm glad to see him smoking a little pot, because if he had repressed himself any longer he'd certainly be on the fast track to becoming the aquatic Norman Bates.

So lay off the guy. Let him have his fun now that he's got all of his fame and fortune and whatnot. However he got it in the first place.

But most of all, let him do it in peace and stop swinging between sucking his dick and howling for his blood.

13 January, 2009

Sea kittens: as adorable as they are delicious

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12 January, 2009

From the archives...Carthago Delenda Est?

I wrote and published this next bit on Facebook last week. A lot of people were badgering me to give my opinion on the current war in Gaza between Israel and Hamas, so I did just that. I'm sure the following isn't what they expected, because I basically suggest that the world take a laissez-faire approach to the conflict until one side wins decisively...well, it sounds better in its original context. Here it is:

Marcus Porcius Cato the Elder, a Roman statesman who lived during the Punic Wars against the North African city-state of Carthage, would often end his speeches before the Senate with the phrase "in conclusion, Carthage must be destroyed." During the Second Punic War, the famous Carthaginian general Hannibal Barca was defeated decisively at the battle of Zama in 202 B.C., effectively ending Carthage's influence. Just to make sure, the Romans fought the Third Punic war from 149 to 146 B.C., which consisted of an extended siege of Carthage and that city and its society's final destruction. From there on out, North Africa was basically pacified and the Roman Republic, later the Empire, exercised a mainly peaceful influence over the region.

So....

Judea was a different story. A somewhat later province of Rome, the Hebrew people who inhabited the region (modern Israel) refused to accept Roman rule throughout its time as a province. The Jewish people objected religiously to its pagan masters and politically to its absolutist control and overseas occupation. The Jews revolted on several occasions, making the Governorship of the province a royal pain in the ass to any Roman patrician sent to fill the position. The last straw was the Bar Kokhba revolt in 132 A.D., where Simon bar Kokhba commanded an insurrection against the Romans, driving them out temporarily and declaring a new Kingdom of Israel. Simon bar Kokhba was declared a Messiah by the Jewish community, though shunned by the new Christian sects. The state lasted three years until in 135 A.D. the Romans returned and with a heavy material and human cost recaptured Judea. Determined never to let this happen again, the emperor Hadrian banished the Jews (killing many of them, selling many more into slavery, though many Jews who slipped through the bureaucracy either fled or remained in the region) and renamed Jerusalem "Aelia Capitolina" (after both himself and Jupiter Capitolinus) and the province "Palastina" (or Palestine) out of spite.

Fast forward to today. From Roman spite springs one of the most contentious ethno-religious political conflicts in history. Back and forth the Palestinians and Israelis go, and it's difficult to ascertain who actually has a true historical right to the region. In my opinion only the final arbiter of armed struggle will determine that, and the U.N. and the United States have only succeeded in one thing: prolonging the conflict beyond what it ever needed to be. By forcing peace on either side, the international community is only asking for more trouble, because the root cause (land claims) hasn't been properly mediated and the main propaganda fuel (organized religion) can never be dealt with because both parties are highly theological societies. So the U.N. and U.S. need to do something that I'm sure they will find difficult but must be done: step back and let history unwrap itself.

In order for this conflict to end one side needs to vanish. Each side has its Cato, surely, and we ("we" being the West) cannot be so arrogant as to think that we can fix this. One side needs to destroy the other, and in modern thinking this is considered to be absolutely horrible, but hey, I've always thought of myself as a living anachronism.

As for myself, I choose to stand back and watch either side give the other the Carthage treatment.

11 January, 2009

Introducing....the Semi-Daily Mashup!

Hello to all, and welcome to my return to the blogging world. I've abandoned my old-timey political pundit blog, America's Glory, for a little more all-around blogging experience. My ever evolving political views will be making regular appearances, along with all sorts of other general social criticisms and commentary, reviews of bits of media, amusing thoughts and general banter for the inquisitive soul. A real mash of pointless shit that might entertain or get your brain gurgling.

One of these days I'll be contributing to a friend's B-Movie review blog, Radiation Scarred Reviews, so keep an eye on that one. There's some good stuff there already, as young as it is.

Well, keep an eye out for updates on a semi-daily basis.