30 September, 2009
23 September, 2009
Col. Gaddafi's UN Speech
This morning I switched on the television just in time to catch Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi's big speech to the United Nations General Assembly. In case you're unaware, Libya holds this year's Presidency of the General Assembly, the man being Ali Abdussalam Treki. This picture from the Daily Mail in the UK should sum up the day for you:
The man high up on the top o' the rostrum is Treki, and the goofy bastard down there is Gaddafi. I also suggest that you see the rest of the photos in the Mail's report. They really are something.
Things were cleared for insanity when Gaddafi's speech was delayed by some sort of protest on the General Assembly floor, which cameras refused to show or give the details of. When he finally got up to the podium, decorum dictates that heads of state would have 15 minutes for their speech.
1 hour, 36 minutes later I had no fucking clue what had just happened. The man went just about everywhere in his meandering oration. He waxed poetic about jet lag, suggested renaming the UN Security council "the terror council," and shat upon the UN charter (not literally, fortunately. I'd have shot myself if I had to see him lift his spiffy Bedouin robes to do that). He had such little bits of wisdom as "why not fish flu?" when talking about the swine flu (or as the USDA urges us for the sake of the pork industry, only to call it H1N1), then going on to suggest that it was engineered by Capitalists to sell medication. Then, to cap it all off, he gave us the laughable "No, we love the Jews!" line of babble.
*Whew* About half way through, his translators had to tag off because the first guy was exhausted. By the end, the hall was barely half-empty. But the speech wasn't the only source of asininity in the Gaddafi story.
Because of the release of the Lockerbie bomber earlier this summer by Scottish authorities, US interests have been really, really dickish with his accommodations. Traditionally, visiting dignitaries to the UN are given lodging within 15 minutes of the UN building in NYC. Because of the fuss we've been putting up to this tinpot weirdo, he was more than 40 miles away in a pitched Bedouin tent on some property in Bedford owned by Donald Trump. Town officials in Bedford basically had him evicted because people had complained - if only they had granted him his original request to pitch the tent in Central Park!
This is the same guy who filed a motion for today's session to have Switzerland abolished and divided between France, Germany and Italy, after his son Hannibal was arrested in a Swiss hotel. The abolition motion was just part of an overall vendetta with the Swiss over the matter, including closing Swiss owned businesses and expelling their diplomats.
This man as a single entity rivals Nikita Khrushchev's shoe-pounding incident in 1960 in its absolute hilarity. Regardless of my low opinion of the UN, at least we'll have an entertaining year.
The man high up on the top o' the rostrum is Treki, and the goofy bastard down there is Gaddafi. I also suggest that you see the rest of the photos in the Mail's report. They really are something.
Things were cleared for insanity when Gaddafi's speech was delayed by some sort of protest on the General Assembly floor, which cameras refused to show or give the details of. When he finally got up to the podium, decorum dictates that heads of state would have 15 minutes for their speech.
1 hour, 36 minutes later I had no fucking clue what had just happened. The man went just about everywhere in his meandering oration. He waxed poetic about jet lag, suggested renaming the UN Security council "the terror council," and shat upon the UN charter (not literally, fortunately. I'd have shot myself if I had to see him lift his spiffy Bedouin robes to do that). He had such little bits of wisdom as "why not fish flu?" when talking about the swine flu (or as the USDA urges us for the sake of the pork industry, only to call it H1N1), then going on to suggest that it was engineered by Capitalists to sell medication. Then, to cap it all off, he gave us the laughable "No, we love the Jews!" line of babble.
*Whew* About half way through, his translators had to tag off because the first guy was exhausted. By the end, the hall was barely half-empty. But the speech wasn't the only source of asininity in the Gaddafi story.
Because of the release of the Lockerbie bomber earlier this summer by Scottish authorities, US interests have been really, really dickish with his accommodations. Traditionally, visiting dignitaries to the UN are given lodging within 15 minutes of the UN building in NYC. Because of the fuss we've been putting up to this tinpot weirdo, he was more than 40 miles away in a pitched Bedouin tent on some property in Bedford owned by Donald Trump. Town officials in Bedford basically had him evicted because people had complained - if only they had granted him his original request to pitch the tent in Central Park!
This is the same guy who filed a motion for today's session to have Switzerland abolished and divided between France, Germany and Italy, after his son Hannibal was arrested in a Swiss hotel. The abolition motion was just part of an overall vendetta with the Swiss over the matter, including closing Swiss owned businesses and expelling their diplomats.
This man as a single entity rivals Nikita Khrushchev's shoe-pounding incident in 1960 in its absolute hilarity. Regardless of my low opinion of the UN, at least we'll have an entertaining year.
15 September, 2009
Fading Stars
14 September marks just yet another example of truly great human beings dying, only to be overshadowed by a big name doing the same.
You probably have heard that actor Patrick Swayze lost a fight with cancer earlier today. Because of this, you may not have noticed that a man more important and consequential than a man who held film superstar status during the 1980s also passed on to the great hereafter. In fact, you probably had never heard of him.
Nobel Laureate and scientist, Norman Borlaug, died hours before. The man made massive inroads in genetic engineering, leading to his development of a highly productive strain of wheat. While bloviating opportunists were blowing hot air about starvation around the globe, especially on the continent of Africa, Borlaug was in the laboratory doing something about it. His brilliance and hard work saved easily millions of people from wasting away through long, painful deaths from starvation, and when he was given the Nobel Peace Prize it was thought that the lives he saved were upwards of 1,000,000,000 (for the numerically challenged, that's one billion.)
Even as groups like Greenpeace whipped up the winds of sensationalism to stoke the fire of political opportunism to destroy genetically modified foods in favor of idealistic, utopian and cripplingly inefficient and unreliable organic farming methods, Borlaug soldiered on. No one in my recent memory has done more for the human cause than Norman Borlaug (1914-2009).
Even if Red Dawn was a great action-propaganda film, Borlaug trumps Swayze. However, I bid them both requiescat in pace.
You probably have heard that actor Patrick Swayze lost a fight with cancer earlier today. Because of this, you may not have noticed that a man more important and consequential than a man who held film superstar status during the 1980s also passed on to the great hereafter. In fact, you probably had never heard of him.
Nobel Laureate and scientist, Norman Borlaug, died hours before. The man made massive inroads in genetic engineering, leading to his development of a highly productive strain of wheat. While bloviating opportunists were blowing hot air about starvation around the globe, especially on the continent of Africa, Borlaug was in the laboratory doing something about it. His brilliance and hard work saved easily millions of people from wasting away through long, painful deaths from starvation, and when he was given the Nobel Peace Prize it was thought that the lives he saved were upwards of 1,000,000,000 (for the numerically challenged, that's one billion.)
Even as groups like Greenpeace whipped up the winds of sensationalism to stoke the fire of political opportunism to destroy genetically modified foods in favor of idealistic, utopian and cripplingly inefficient and unreliable organic farming methods, Borlaug soldiered on. No one in my recent memory has done more for the human cause than Norman Borlaug (1914-2009).
Even if Red Dawn was a great action-propaganda film, Borlaug trumps Swayze. However, I bid them both requiescat in pace.
28 August, 2009
Ah, The Politicization of Death
The petition to honor Ted Kennedy's suggestion to the MA legislature to change state law to allow the governor to appoint a provisional Senator should a seat become vacant is gaining momentum.
This makes me chuckle, since the drive is being led by, naturally, liberal groups who don't want the Democratic super-majority in the US Senate to be broken up. These would be the same blokes who had the law changed a few years ago to keep Gov. Romney from appointing a Republican to the seat if John Kerry won the Presidency in 2004. Way to exploit a Senator's death for political purposes, guys.
And of course it doesn't stop there. Partisan groups are doing their best to exploit the Kennedy name one more time before it finally sinks in how much Ted was a punchline in most actual American minds. For example, the fact that mass e-mails are already going out bearing the message "In Lieu of Flowers, Pass Healthcare Reform". I haven't caught, have they decided that they'll name the bill after him? If not, just wait for it; it'll come.
I'm quite keen to hear the TOTUS (having just picked up the term from other blogs, "Teleprompter of the US") eulogize Ted tomorrow in Boston, based mostly on the curiosity over whether or not it will turn into a campaign speech for health care. If it happens, I may just vomit with rage. I am not at all a fan of Ted Kennedy, and have been quite curious how a man could leave a woman in his car at the bottom of a river to suffocate long enough to find his consigliere and establish an alibi could actually make it that far in American politics, let alone avoid jail. Wait a minute, I forgot: JFK's brother. Right, of course.
But if it turns out that our leaders are so glib as to latch on to a prominent man's death to sell an unpopular incarnation of reform, then I'll have totally lost faith in them. That would be downright heartless of them. I'd expect that shit from Karl Rove, but seriously. I hope they're not that ruthless. Please let them have a little ruth among them.
Though, we are protected somewhat by their sheer incompetence. Who do they think they are, the US government from 2001-2006? The Republicans could have only dreamed of having the Majority that the Democrats have now, and they got a hell of a lot more things - and more unpopular in general than what's on the table right now - rammed through with fake bi-partisan support. The Democrats have it all at their fingertips and they're barely squeaking by.
In fact, I have a feeling that Ted Kennedy's absence will have a detrimental effect on the health care situation for the Democrats. Kennedy was at least willing to compromise; that mindset might be gone. If the Democrats let themselves go down the "my way or the highway" path it could be it.
Anyway, enough of this. Don't use "Ted Kennedy would have wanted it this way" to make political points. That sort of logic is only valid for the flower arrangements and the general level or rowdiness at the wake, and that's it. With that said, I'm sure his wake was kick ass.
This makes me chuckle, since the drive is being led by, naturally, liberal groups who don't want the Democratic super-majority in the US Senate to be broken up. These would be the same blokes who had the law changed a few years ago to keep Gov. Romney from appointing a Republican to the seat if John Kerry won the Presidency in 2004. Way to exploit a Senator's death for political purposes, guys.
And of course it doesn't stop there. Partisan groups are doing their best to exploit the Kennedy name one more time before it finally sinks in how much Ted was a punchline in most actual American minds. For example, the fact that mass e-mails are already going out bearing the message "In Lieu of Flowers, Pass Healthcare Reform". I haven't caught, have they decided that they'll name the bill after him? If not, just wait for it; it'll come.
I'm quite keen to hear the TOTUS (having just picked up the term from other blogs, "Teleprompter of the US") eulogize Ted tomorrow in Boston, based mostly on the curiosity over whether or not it will turn into a campaign speech for health care. If it happens, I may just vomit with rage. I am not at all a fan of Ted Kennedy, and have been quite curious how a man could leave a woman in his car at the bottom of a river to suffocate long enough to find his consigliere and establish an alibi could actually make it that far in American politics, let alone avoid jail. Wait a minute, I forgot: JFK's brother. Right, of course.
But if it turns out that our leaders are so glib as to latch on to a prominent man's death to sell an unpopular incarnation of reform, then I'll have totally lost faith in them. That would be downright heartless of them. I'd expect that shit from Karl Rove, but seriously. I hope they're not that ruthless. Please let them have a little ruth among them.
Though, we are protected somewhat by their sheer incompetence. Who do they think they are, the US government from 2001-2006? The Republicans could have only dreamed of having the Majority that the Democrats have now, and they got a hell of a lot more things - and more unpopular in general than what's on the table right now - rammed through with fake bi-partisan support. The Democrats have it all at their fingertips and they're barely squeaking by.
In fact, I have a feeling that Ted Kennedy's absence will have a detrimental effect on the health care situation for the Democrats. Kennedy was at least willing to compromise; that mindset might be gone. If the Democrats let themselves go down the "my way or the highway" path it could be it.
Anyway, enough of this. Don't use "Ted Kennedy would have wanted it this way" to make political points. That sort of logic is only valid for the flower arrangements and the general level or rowdiness at the wake, and that's it. With that said, I'm sure his wake was kick ass.
27 August, 2009
Chimps are f#$%ing terrifying
I wrote and edited this together at the end of this past March, but I thought that I'd share it here.
One of the communities of chimpanzees that Jane Goodall made famous was the Kasakela community in Tanzania. It was there that she met this particular chimp...
One of the communities of chimpanzees that Jane Goodall made famous was the Kasakela community in Tanzania. It was there that she met this particular chimp...
Dawwwwwww.
Meet Frodo. He looks unassuming enough, right? There with his leaves and his fur and his, OH don't you just want to put him in people clothes and make him do people things? He's just like any of us, but so graceful and gentle.
Well fucking wrong you are, he's worse than most of us. Frodo was famous for asserting himself as the alpha male over the rest of the community. He did this through raw aggression and intimidation. He famously thrashed Jane Goodall, almost breaking her neck, and beat up cartoonist Gary Larson. He was the Sulla of chimpdom. So why is he worse than us? This is shit that humans do every day, but even Sulla, one of the chief butcher dictators of the late Roman republic, didn't do what Frodo is most infamous for...
It's common for chimps to wrest newborns from other chimps and kill them for fresh meat as a display of dominance, but a Tanzanian park worker had no idea how bad that can get. Frodo was eating some leaves near a footpath that the woman was walking, on her way to the research camp. She had her 14 month old child with her, and she was scared shitless when she crossed paths with Frodo.
Obey.
He was aggressive, she understood that, but she didn't expect what Frodo did next: he went up to her, wrenched the baby from her arms, disappeared into the forest and proceeded to eat the baby.
Holy shit. Not even Hitler ate babies. This reaches a low that not even the the man considered to be the most evil thing in human history can claim, "Ja. Been there, done that." So maybe we should be thankful that the chimpanzee is a lower life form, although if apes come any further on the technological scale...they are starting to figure out spears and how to kill things with them.
Holy shit. Not even Hitler ate babies. This reaches a low that not even the the man considered to be the most evil thing in human history can claim, "Ja. Been there, done that." So maybe we should be thankful that the chimpanzee is a lower life form, although if apes come any further on the technological scale...they are starting to figure out spears and how to kill things with them.
With my spear and magic helmet!
I was also surprised while I was researching this to read about the surprisingly complex politics that went on in Kasakela. In 2002 Frodo fell ill, and a coalition of several other male chimps in the community deposed him. After recovering from his infection, he was unable to reassert his alpha male status.
The cheese stands alone.
So the next time you start to feel superior to other life forms, keep running with it! If you start to sympathize with the chimps and bring them up to our level, they might just eat your newborn baby.
26 August, 2009
RIP, Ted
Well, Ted Kennedy left us late last night. Ted jokes are off limits for a while, which is something of a shame, but the man deserves every bit of rest. He's earned it.
But, watching the coverage of his death reminds me of one important thing that crosses my mind every time something big happens with the Kennedys: America isn't supposed to have dynasties.
But, a son of Joe Kennedy got a natural death. How about that? I'm not sure if the news really knows how to react to something like that.
RIP, Edward Kennedy.
But, watching the coverage of his death reminds me of one important thing that crosses my mind every time something big happens with the Kennedys: America isn't supposed to have dynasties.
But, a son of Joe Kennedy got a natural death. How about that? I'm not sure if the news really knows how to react to something like that.
RIP, Edward Kennedy.
25 August, 2009
Italy: The Land Success Forgot
A few minutes ago I stumbled across this article on BBC News:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8217360.stm
Apparently the winner of the Italian lottery hasn't been pinpointed yet, though the village is known. This struck me as slightly idiotic...this person is in line to win what may be the biggest lottery jackpot in European history, or at least since Luca Brindisi won a lifetime supply of indulgences in the big Holy See lotto of 1410.
Speculative medieval history aside, the fact that this person is unknown to the Italians is just one more strike against them as a nation.
Keep in mind that I'm Italian, full breed on my mother's side. I'm in fact a true friend to my Italian brethren, because I'm willing to point out a massive foible on their part, even if it means that we might split: Italy has been unwilling to accept its rightful place in post-Roman history.
Ever since the fall of Rome in 476 A.D. Italy has been grasping at where it once was in history. Unfortunately, its glory days are long since gone, and it would be best for all of us if they just took off the caligae, pulled on their Gucci boots, hopped in their Ferrari and just be content with their new found mediocrity.
There have been some sudden spurts of Italy attempting to regain its former glory. The two main examples I have are: the Renaissance and Fascism. And if you ask me, in the court of world opinion one of those should cancel the other out, big time.
Thank Mussolini for taking the Italian dream and driving it right into the nearest volcano. The rule is, once you've had a kill-crazy dictator run your country for a while you get to take a nice, long vacation on the international back-burner. I'm looking at you, Germany. Russia, get back in the corner! Time-out isn't over yet!
Italy has in recent years seemed to try so hard that it's no wonder that "prima donna" is an Italian phrase. They have, though, gone down a different route: they're riding their mediocrity as a contemporary culture all the way to the front page - front page of what, I don't know, but it's in plain view to anyone who picks it up off the sidewalk.
For example, Italy seems to pride itself on exemplifying every negative point associated with parliamentary government. For a few years it seemed like every day it was a race to collapse the government before lunch. Berlusconi was made Prime Minister, then he'd say something horribly sexist or insensitive, or fuck someone who wasn't his wife, and it was arivederci Berlusconi. Then after the next PM bungled things, a week later they clamored for Berlusconi back. Rinse, repeat.
At least Italy is on the right track. They're glory-hogging at being the worst at things, instead of attempting to be good at stuff again. This past winter some of my friends went to Egypt to study Arabic abroad, and they had to pass through Rome on the way to Cairo. There once was a time, back before running water and recreational bathing, when a phrase like that would fill you with pride. Rome just ain't what it used to be.
Well, no thanks to Alitalia, they were lucky to get through alive, and to hell with any sort of "timetable" my friends were on. Failing at a connecting flight? Check.
France has routinely trounced Italy in Rugby Union since 1987 in the Six Nations tournament. Failing at defeating France? Check.
At least when Germany and Russia exhausted their mulligan with the kill-crazy-dictator rule, they could win at stuff sometimes. Mussolini's feathers-in-the-cap were Ethiopia and Albania, then was pushed back by Greece - a country that has learned its place of international mediocrity, especially by the time this happened in World War II.
Italy should be glad that we're not holding Roberto Benigni against them in this regard. We totally could, because that man has caused about as much misery necessary for an honorable mention.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8217360.stm
Apparently the winner of the Italian lottery hasn't been pinpointed yet, though the village is known. This struck me as slightly idiotic...this person is in line to win what may be the biggest lottery jackpot in European history, or at least since Luca Brindisi won a lifetime supply of indulgences in the big Holy See lotto of 1410.
Speculative medieval history aside, the fact that this person is unknown to the Italians is just one more strike against them as a nation.
Keep in mind that I'm Italian, full breed on my mother's side. I'm in fact a true friend to my Italian brethren, because I'm willing to point out a massive foible on their part, even if it means that we might split: Italy has been unwilling to accept its rightful place in post-Roman history.
Ever since the fall of Rome in 476 A.D. Italy has been grasping at where it once was in history. Unfortunately, its glory days are long since gone, and it would be best for all of us if they just took off the caligae, pulled on their Gucci boots, hopped in their Ferrari and just be content with their new found mediocrity.
There have been some sudden spurts of Italy attempting to regain its former glory. The two main examples I have are: the Renaissance and Fascism. And if you ask me, in the court of world opinion one of those should cancel the other out, big time.
Thank Mussolini for taking the Italian dream and driving it right into the nearest volcano. The rule is, once you've had a kill-crazy dictator run your country for a while you get to take a nice, long vacation on the international back-burner. I'm looking at you, Germany. Russia, get back in the corner! Time-out isn't over yet!
Italy has in recent years seemed to try so hard that it's no wonder that "prima donna" is an Italian phrase. They have, though, gone down a different route: they're riding their mediocrity as a contemporary culture all the way to the front page - front page of what, I don't know, but it's in plain view to anyone who picks it up off the sidewalk.
For example, Italy seems to pride itself on exemplifying every negative point associated with parliamentary government. For a few years it seemed like every day it was a race to collapse the government before lunch. Berlusconi was made Prime Minister, then he'd say something horribly sexist or insensitive, or fuck someone who wasn't his wife, and it was arivederci Berlusconi. Then after the next PM bungled things, a week later they clamored for Berlusconi back. Rinse, repeat.
At least Italy is on the right track. They're glory-hogging at being the worst at things, instead of attempting to be good at stuff again. This past winter some of my friends went to Egypt to study Arabic abroad, and they had to pass through Rome on the way to Cairo. There once was a time, back before running water and recreational bathing, when a phrase like that would fill you with pride. Rome just ain't what it used to be.
Well, no thanks to Alitalia, they were lucky to get through alive, and to hell with any sort of "timetable" my friends were on. Failing at a connecting flight? Check.
France has routinely trounced Italy in Rugby Union since 1987 in the Six Nations tournament. Failing at defeating France? Check.
At least when Germany and Russia exhausted their mulligan with the kill-crazy-dictator rule, they could win at stuff sometimes. Mussolini's feathers-in-the-cap were Ethiopia and Albania, then was pushed back by Greece - a country that has learned its place of international mediocrity, especially by the time this happened in World War II.
Italy should be glad that we're not holding Roberto Benigni against them in this regard. We totally could, because that man has caused about as much misery necessary for an honorable mention.
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