IMAO hit it right on the head

I'm going to have to agree with Frank J.'s always chortle-worthy assessment over at IMAO.

MSNBC might be trying to incite a race war to boost its ratings.

It really wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened. WWII was in fact orchestrated by the film stock industry to boost the length of newsreels. Vietnam? All the work of Mexican drug lords to recruit new hippies as a customer base.

And of course, who could forget the masters of live war mongering for ratings...the BBC.

A round up of ridiculous stories

http://israelmatzav.blogspot.com/2009/08/swedish-tabloid-publishes-claim-that.html

Apparently a Swedish tabloid has printed a story accusing the IDF of harvesting the organs of Arabs.

Jewish blood libel? Seriously? That topic is so last crusade. Go back to 1508!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/music/newsid_10000000/newsid_10001000/10001079.stm

U2 has written the music and lyrics to an upcoming Spider-Man Rock Opera called "Turn Off the Dark." The Edge described the work not as a musical, but more of an opera, because "musicals are really pants."

"(fill in the blank) is really pants" officially tops my list of potential last words before I die.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8209934.stm

France is under attack by Chinese hornets. Thank God these are actual bees and not an escape of the nanobees I reported earlier. Unfortunately for the French there is no central bee authority to surrender to. Waving white flags just makes them ornerier.

http://inventorspot.com/articles/kinkiest_recycling_program_ever_makes_sexhappy_ecoconscious_adul_31567

Recycle your dildo. I need only quote a section of the text: "To recycle the sex toys drop it in the mail. Please clean them first. Yes, they can be used sex toys. They can also be unused. They can even be broken sex toys."

I've heard reducing your carbon footprint referred to as indulgences, but this is ridiculous.

Russians Detain Tanker Hijackers

After the Russian cargo ship The Arctic Sea reportedly vanished while passing through the English Channel last month, it was found off the coast of East Africa and Russia has detained the suspected hijackers.

So, I called it wrong. When this story first broke I was convinced that it was the work of some Viking revival - aided by the fact that the cargo was timber, which naturally they need for their longboats. Apparently the hijackers were a mix of Russians, Latvians and Estonians, so certainly NOT Vikings. Coastal British monasteries can rest easy...for now.

History Channel's "The Universe" - Case in Point

In my last post where I commented on the deranged nature of the choice in scientists that the History Channel interviews constantly for The Universe, it may have seemed a bit unfair just to say it. So, I thought I'd provide some examples.

Let's begin. Here are two of the most likely scientists on The Universe to end up at the wrong end of MI-6

The Man: Neil deGrasse Tyson.

The Mission: He's an astrophysicist in New York City, director of the Hayden Planetarium, and works with the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan. He does a lot of media work, because of his high charisma modifier and disarming similarity to Billy Dee Williams, as encapsulated in the above photograph. His Wikipedia page is quite detailed, all things considered, suggesting to me that he may have written it himself.

The Madness: This morning there was a mini-marathon of the show, and I caught in particular a snippet he did for the episode on space travel. Discussing how to get to Mars in the quickest way possible, he suggested that one could ride a comet as it rockets towards the sun, and dismount it at the right moment to make a round trip in only a matter of weeks, as opposed to a range of months to years under current practices (depends on where Mars is in its orbit relative to Earth). He went on to describe it as, though a sure-fire death sentence (pun unintended), potentially a lot of fun.

In other words....


The Man: Alexei Vladimir Filippenko

The Mission: He's a professor of astronomy at UC Berkeley and is a specialist in supernovae. He was a member of the Supernova Cosmology Project and High-z Supernova Search Team that developed the theory of the accelerating universe, and by implication the ominous-sounding concept of dark energy. He's also a member of questionably named Nuker Team, which utilizes the Hubble telescope to observe supermassive black holes.

The Madness: Well Christ, just look at him! In this photo or any interview he's done in The Universe, he looks like he's close to declaring "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!" He has that twinkle in his eye that suggests higher ambitions, and observe him in such an interview (I wish I could find a good clip out there to demonstrate)...he goes about his trade with an almost Riddler-level of enthusiasm. I have a feeling that his interest in supernovae and black holes isn't all so innocent, either. I'd like to think that he has plans to hold the universe hostage with a machine that could create a black hole right here on Earth. Wait.....shit. Keep an eye out for Alexei Filippenko hijacking that thing once it goes online once and for all.

Besides, his name just screams super villain.

Scientists to release swarms of bees on your cancer

Apparently scientists have engineered bees to "sting cancer to death"

To be fair, these aren't actual bees, but a brilliant - albeit terrifying - leap in nanotechnology. These nanobees are actually armed with a cancer-killing chemical extracted from actual bee venom.

Science has done it again. They've taken a very noble concept - in this case, treating cancer - and have gone about it in the most blood-curdling insane way possible. Even the term "nanobees" seems designed to strike fear into the heart of humanity. I can only surmise that mad scientists have taken over the study of nanotechnology.

This all reminds me of the fully realized version of the scientists interviewed on the History Channel's series The Universe. Just watching one episode you can see in all of their eyes the twinkle that says that if they had the resources, they'd immediately make the leap from theoretical astrophysics to super villainous mad science.

Lump this all together with CERN and their black hole machine, and the most obvious conclusion to make is this: all scientists strive to be James Bond villains.

Robert Novak (1931-2009)

I'm very sad to say that Robert Novak has passed on.

Love him or hate him, he was a frigging icon. Journalists like him don't exist anymore; they're almost all gone. And he was one of very, very few who could stand to make eye contact with James Carville long enough to scream at him on CNN's Crossfire.

The right loved him, and the left loved to hate him. Whichever side is concerned, he'll be missed.

Media loses its collective shit over armed protesters, shocked to learn it's totally legal

As a gun owner who would relish the chance to carry his rifle over his shoulder wherever he went here in N.Y., I'm having quite a laugh observing the major news coverage of gun-owners exercising their constitutional rights at protests in open carry states.

First was the man in New Hampshire with a pistol strapped to his leg, but the other day in Arizona a dozen such folks showed up - including a guy with an AR-15 - and did it perfectly legally and responsibly.

I linked to the MSNBC report because it's, so far, the most alarmist one that I've seen. In the third paragraph they seem honestly shocked that, despite the presence of firearms, "no crimes were committed."

If you look at the CNN article, it comes off as concerned, but still able to comprehend the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, as well as Arizona state law allowing open carry. They even cite statements by US Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan, who, when asked if the President was in any danger at either the Arizona or New Hampshire protests, he responded "Of course not." Unlike MSNBC, CNN also doesn't spin this with the ominous sub-headline of "the beginning of a disturbing trend?"

Yes, MSNBC. One of the most important rights ever recorded on parchment being freely, safely and responsibly exercised is part of a "disturbing trend." These guys weren't saying "Durr hurr I'm gon' kill me a President." The statements they were making were more along the lines of "Remind the government who's boss" and "my rights don't disappear just because."

So, for these two major news sources, the summation is thus:

CNN: Wow, really? *checks the books, does reporting* Hm, okay. It's kosher. Rock on, Constitution.
MSNBC: Wow, really? B-b-b-b-but the Nazis!